One time I heard my boyfriend had sex with another girl. So I called and asked him about it and he denied it, so I called the girl and she denied it too, and then I called my boyfriend back and told him that the girl had told me everything and he replied with “it was just one time. It meant nothing.” And then I replied with “fuck you, she didn’t tell me anything.” And that’s still my favorite story to tell.
in australia, we pronounce ‘gif’ as ‘OI MATE THIS FUCKIN PICTURE IS MOVIN I AM SO FUCKIN FRIED’
what tumblr staff thinks they are doing
what they are actually doing
if i had a nice body my life would improve by at least 500%